We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
