How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
