remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I need a beard to bite.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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