He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
So apparently I’m into choking now
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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