honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
