You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
