is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
