i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
You took a bar mat shot.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
