I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
