I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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