i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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