if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
4 words: hood of his car
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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