I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Randomize