Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
