Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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