Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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