clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize