moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize