Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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