She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Randomize