Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
