She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
a search helicopter?!
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
