I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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