i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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