I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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