the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize