So drunk, too bad you don't want this
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize