He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
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