i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
