She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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