I think scott just propositioned me for sex
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Randomize
