i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
