people are starting to question the shark bite story
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
