He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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