That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just threw up on my dentist
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
