We won't sleep together?
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
3 2 1 whiskey
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
