Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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