i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Randomize
