also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize