This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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