so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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