it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
