I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
