Non-Jews are for practice
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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