bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
