I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
