I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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