A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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