This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
When are your genitals available?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
