Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
