Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
