he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
The best revenge is premature balding
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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