after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
