Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
