Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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