i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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