just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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