spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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