how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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