I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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