After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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