I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
